UNDER THE PACIFIC — America’s most advanced nuclear submarine was slicing through the water off Hawaii last month, 400 feet under the surface, when a sonar operator suddenly detected an ominous noise on his headphones.
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Among those who have the good fortune to waste their time arguing about such things, there is a fundamental and abiding disagreement over the Oxford comma — the final comma in a list of three or more things.
I read somewhere, once upon a time, an adage about wealthy families which goes something like this: The first generation makes the money, the second generation maintains it, and the third generation loses it.
Let me tell you, dear reader, the story of a man named Trump.
Remember Michael Sam? Unless you’re a fervent fan of the Canadian Football League’s Montreal Alouettes — and if you are, bonjour mes amis francophiles! — you probably haven’t heard from him in awhile.
There’s something sickly poetic about the northern media telling southerners they’re not allowed to have their Confederate flags anymore. It’s not irony, though I’m sure there’s a good word for it: The North overruling the South on a beloved symbol of the South’s refusal to be ruled. A better writer would know the word.
What a day Friday was for freedom and equality?! The Supreme Court of the United States of America ruled it’s illegal to make same-sex marriage illegal, thereby forever ending our major gay-policy debate.
Richard Toler lived at 515 Poplar St. in Cincinnati, Ohio, during the summer of 1937 when a young white woman named Ruth Thompson knocked on his door.
Last week at Fenway Park in Boston, 34,910 spectators gathered to watch a match between the Red Sox and visiting Oakland Athletics — just a handful of the 74 million or so people who will attend a major league baseball game this year.
The first time I heard the name “Bruce Jenner” was at an ex-girlfriend’s house, during the first season of an impossibly stupid television program called “Keeping up with the Kardashians.” At the time, I knew nothing of Jenner’s Olympic heroics in 1976, because I wasn’t alive in 1976. I didn’t know he was once on “CHiPs,” because I thought CHiPs was just a punchline to jokes about fellow 2000s reality TV star Erik Estrada.
If it’s Sunday where you’re reading this, there’s a 31-year-old man sitting in a prison cell owned and operated by the federal government, serving the second full day of a prison term scheduled to last until his dying breath.
What would you, personally, give up to prevent another terrorist attack on the scale of 9/11?
A basic law of economics says that if you cap the supply of something, the price of that something will skyrocket. Whenever there are more potential widget buyers than widgets to be bought, those with money will pay out the nose to get what they want. For anyone who’s ever searched for tickets to a sold-out concert, this concept should be pretty familiar.
True confessions: I was raised a Yankee. And growing up north of the Mason-Dixon Line had its advantages. Regular sized mosquitoes. Moderate summer weather. Fewer Braves games on TV.
Nearly three years have passed since a fateful July night in Aurora, Colo., when a mopey grad student opened fire on a crowded theater, mowing down 12 people and injuring 70 others, like so many fish in a barrel. Three years later, and his trial started just this week.
Generally speaking, I think many of the common populist saws about politics are untrue or, at the very least, mostly wrong.
Watching the family canine descend into old age is a long, painful odyssey for many pets owners. Standing idly by while Fido licks his arthritic paws — unable to understand why they hurt and ignorant as to the uselessness of the only treatment he knows — can be every bit as frustrating as watching a grandparent struggle with dementia.
I believe the United States Department of Education should be abolished. I believe no one living in Washington can effectively dictate local education policy in my town or any other. And I believe the Department’s $77 billion budget would be better spent if it were given to local school districts — that would be an extra $1,500 for every student in the United States.
If the Republican Party were the University of Kentucky men’s basketball team, it would show up for the national championship game in ice skates. If it were Apple, its iPods would feature Betamax compatibility. If Republicans were challenged to a game of paper-rock-scissors, they would insist on using their feet.
When it comes to modern day politics, most of us are really poor at pragmatism. When arguing for some change we’d like to see enacted, people are prone to ground their view in the way things ought to be, instead of the way things actually are.
There’s a great line in the little-remembered 2001 Johnny Depp drug kingpin saga “Blow,” where the protagonist gets busted dealing pot and is sent to the Danbury Federal Penitentiary in Connecticut. Upon conferring with his coke fiend cellmate, Depp’s voice-over remarks:
Sticks and stones can break your bones, but words — words can wreck your life.
The central thesis of this weekly column, as I posited when I started writing it more than a year ago, is this: “Decisions made without regard for economic principles are inevitably mistakes, and when those mistakes are made by governments, they’re nearly impossible to undo.”
What is the Islamic State? Is it Al Qaeda’s “JV team,” as President Barack Obama asserted last year in an interview with the New Yorker? Is it something America should engage in war — “take them out,” as putative Republican front-runner Jeb Bush asserts?
The Saturday Night Live 40th Anniversary Special on NBC last week was a fairly perfect affair. It touched all the right notes — humor and emotion tinged with that hint of self-importance that has given the show its edge over an incredible run.
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